After a nuclear war, the survivors are divided between horribly mutated beings who live on desolate reservations and fertile women who are searching for scarce virile men in order to multiply and start a new human society. Sam Hell is a prisoner of the female faction who took over the US after nuclear war. Mutants thrive in the wasteland while humans face possible extinction due to infertility. Bomb strapped to his crotch, Hell is forced to rescue a group of fertile women from a harem ran by an evil mutant gang. HELL COMES TO FROGDOWN is an excruciating B-movie comedy in which the heroic Hell, played by former wrestler Roddy Piper, is released from a jail in a post-apocalyptic world and sent on a rescue mission to free a group of beautiful women from the harem of an evil mutant frog-man. Yes, I didn't make that up, that's really what this film is about and it's just as unbelievably cheesy as it sounds.<br/><br/>Like most viewers who aren't wrestling fans, I know really know Piper from his role in Carpenter's likable THEY LIVE. By comparison, he's very poor here, stilted and lacking in charisma as well as acting ability. Not many of the cast are much better, although at least there are parts for welcome actors like biker star William Smith, Nicholas Worth (DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE!), old-timer Rory Calhoun, and the ever-statuesque Sandahl Bergman (CONAN THE BARBARIAN).<br/><br/>HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN isn't even an example of so-bad-it's-good film-making. Instead, this is so-bad-it's-just-bad. You'll struggle not to cringe during the excruciating seduction scenes between Piper and the women, and laugh at the frog men costumes. There isn't even much action here to enjoy, just lame comedy and endless inanity. It's a bomb. *Spoiler/plot- 1988, This movie premise is that the world was destroyed in a nuclear war many years ago. Now the human race has been almost wiped out and common frogs have mutated into intelligent, bipedal creatures. The human race has been sterilized by the war radiation, and human women outnumber men. Fertile women are a very rare, but fertile men are even rarer. Roddy Piper is an opportunist drifter. This Roddy 'Sam Hell' Piper has apparently left a string of pregnancies behind him. After being captured, he's taken to the evil 'Med-tech' labs where the female staff then forces him into servicing female candidates. Either, he signs a contract to "work" for them fertilizing women, or he has to go back and face the wrath of the evil frogs beings. The Med-tech women put a steel jock strap on him to protect their property. The strap front plate says, "Property of Provisional Government". But, the evil frog people beings have raided a border town and stolen many rare fertile women. It's up to Sam Hell and two Med-tech staff women to get them out of 'Frogtown' and be fertilized for humanity sake.<br/><br/>*Special Stars- Roddy Piper, William Smith <br/><br/>*Theme- Some men are healthy and potent, but most are not intelligent enough to re-populate the human race without a resistance group.<br/><br/>*Based on- The 'Planet of the Apes' genre films and adult porn video plots <br/><br/>*Trivia/location/goofs- The filming location was the Frontier Town and surroundings in the old Paramount Ranch area near Agoura Hills. The 'best of the worst' are the ridiculous inhabitants of Frogtown, who look like rejects from Planet of the Apes film make-up dept. Their costumes are surprisingly good, except when they try to speak. Then they are revealed for the cheap on-sale plastic masks that don't work well.<br/><br/>*Emotion- This film is somewhat forgettable. This movie goes through all the many standard action/science fiction/adventure film plot gimmicks, and Piper boringly muddles his way through his part. The performers look like they never really care about their work on screen. There are a few genuinely funny scenes where Piper discovers the special properties of his new chastity belt underwear. The senior older Med-tech staff woman tries to excite Piper to copulate with a recaptured fertile younger woman. No Viagra pills needed here! There is nothing really outstandingly bad about this movie – its more a culmination of all the gross mediocrity provided by the name star cast 'slumming' here that makes this movie bad. However, this film might be quite entertaining and enjoyed by some bad movie lovers. You make the call. It did not for me.
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373 weeks ago